Dear Christian Boy,
I’m not dating your type anymore. In fact, if I had it my way you wouldn't even come within 10 meters of me. We won’t sit down in church together and should you purposely come and sit down next to me in a service I will take my things and even more purposefully move away from you. Because I know where this leads and I am not about to date another Christian boy. You see, the problem with you, Christian boy, is you say that you are a Christian boy but I don’t really think that you know what it entails. You raise your hands in praise during worship but all that does is block my view of the words on the screen. You come to church because that’s is where all the ‘good girls’ are. The girls who ‘shouldn’t have a high body count’, ‘should be makoti material’, ‘should be submissive’. You have mastered the art of pretending to care about a saviour who actually gives a damn about your salvation. Some of your types are able to lead a cell group and others can even stand up in front of church and lead in worship while lacking any form of intimacy with the God you profess to be led by. It isn’t that difficult to regurgitate a Passion for Christ Movement monologue and get a response. Your spiritual life isn’t merely going through a desert place but in fact there is no personal relationship to speak about. Gathering your fire for your Creator solely from the presence of others makes it difficult to replicate when you are in the small still place of your inner room. Your mere presence drains me. Each and every single time. Speaking from experience of watching a person I loved being able to lead an auditorium filled with people into the presence of the Lord but be unable to actively pray for me when I needed him to. His words would basically go, “I know that your relationship with Christ is solid so why do I need to pray for you?” , “Why do you insist on sending me Bible verses, I have an app on my phone.” The point of me wanting us to pray together and to encourage each other in Christ was so that I could intimately understand your relationship with the Almighty before we could get intimate in other ways with each other. I won’t date you, Christian boy, because I know that my biggest flaw is being easily intoxicated by love and wanting to stay that way regardless of the price I have to pay. So in future I am staying away from any variation of you. In future I will date a Christ like man who does not put on a show with all the fixings that we have come to expect. Because being Christ like is difficult. A daily commitment that doesn’t only get ignited in a building on the weekend but can be set ablaze in the confines of your morning commute to work in the back seat of a taxi. For the sake of peace in 2017 I would respectfully ask you, Christian boy, to leave me alone and let me sit by myself in church. Yours in Christ Huli
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hulisaniIntersectional Feminist. Hopeless Romantic. Lover of Life. Archives
January 2017
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